


Russian Roulette

by wooyoungies



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Assassin Seonghwa, Blood and Injury, Dinosaur Mac And Cheese, Gun Violence, Hacker Hongjoong, Inappropriate Uses Of Desk Chairs, It Is Actually Kind Of Soft Sometimes, Knives, M/M, The Author Regrets Nothing, They Are All Morally Grey, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-23 03:44:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23405233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wooyoungies/pseuds/wooyoungies
Summary: He wished for a moment that he could just explain that Seonghwa is one of the hardest people to crack. There isn’t a backdoor in his system that allows Hongjoong to bypass into his mind, there isn’t a password that is hidden in hashing into data. Seonghwa isn’t a computer he can crack open with ease and malware- he is more of a Nonce. A string of numbers only used once that are generated by a system to identify for a specific task. After a period of time, the nonce isn’t ever used again and it’s erased from sight and mind. Hongjoong could only get the password wrong so many times on a human.orHongjoong is an elite hacker and his partner, Seonghwa, is one of the best assassins the nation has ever seen. Seonghwa shows Hongjoong that killing can bethrilling.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 50
Kudos: 408





	Russian Roulette

**Author's Note:**

> QUICK NOTE:
> 
> TW////// 
> 
> In case you missed the tags, there are several scenes with blood and my versions of these characters are morally grey. Killing, knives, drug use (weed), and guns (gun wounds too) are involved. If you are uncomfortable with that, please do not read any further. Other than that, this story can be light-hearted at times- so do not fear completely lol.
> 
> Also, this has been in my drafts since July. RIP.

Hongjoong was not made for the life of killing.

He liked the comfort of his office in headquarters, the stealth of the van parked down the street, and he liked the way he could orchestrate the killing behind a mic in his ear and his fingers on the left clicker of a mouse. He knew his way around the systems like nobody’s business and he knew exactly how to create the perfect setup for an assassination- he never failed. He had to know, since he was part of the most elite squad out there.

“Boss wants you to go on a mission.”

Hongjoong stopped his browsing of a _certain-someone’s-amazon-cart_ and he spun his office chair in the van to face Mingi, his fellow hacker. 

“What?”

Mingi ignored his stare and he shrugged, clicking on the detonate button for a bomb placed in some underground warehouse, and then casually opened the other tab to play Club Penguin. He sighed.

“I dunno, he said that Seonghwa needed you in person to hack someone’s alarm system- some rich person shit or something like that. Hey, do you think if I look into applerod69 it would be a twelve year old? They have beat me in sled racing six times and that should be impossible because I did an override on the system-”

 _“With_ Seonghwa?”

Hongjoong’s mind and blood pressure was steadily increasing and rising with fear- and a little bit of… horny? Joong couldn’t help it of course, it was like, his body’s first reaction to the cursed name. He had an incoming call on his earpiece but he quickly rejected it, waiting for Mingi to give him some insight.

_It can’t be Seonghwa, anyone but Seonghwa, please anyone but him._

Mingi glanced over at Hongjoong due to his tone and his voice squeaking several octaves higher, but then glanced back at his computer screen after seeing that he wasn’t throwing up somewhere in a trash can. 

He tends to do that when he gets nervous.

“Yeah.” Mingi said slowly, then cursing loudly in the silence of their van when applerod69 beat him once more. He shook his head, bright green hair flopping wildly, and pushed his neon keyboard away angrily, a cute plushie falling down and victim from his gamer rage. He now turned to face the other boy, finally taking in the horror screaming over his features.

“Hongjoong stop internally screaming, it’s giving you wrinkles.”

“Shut up!” Hongjoong snapped, slamming his head down on his desk in front of him- he could feel one of Mingi’s figurines hit the floor next to him. He didn’t budge, letting the sinking feeling swallow him whole. Mingi rolled over to him, his wheels loud compared to the whirring of computers and machines that were spread out over the area of the back and he let his hand rest on his back continuously rubbing comforting circles.

“There, there, Seonghwa is just some hot boy, you don’t have to worry about him. Boss wouldn’t send you with him if he didn’t trust him or you, think about it. You’re gonna disarm some simple ass system that he has no idea how to do, then he’s gonna bust down and throw some bullets. Simple.”

Hongjoong groaned louder, trying to calm himself.

This wasn’t just some “hot boy” this was the boy of Hongjoong’s dreams, his wet dreams, all of his _dreams_ for the past 2 years. He knew it was pathetic to have a crush on one of the company’s assassins for so long, he knew that okay, don’t knife and cremate him for being a coward. Seonghwa was just so...so… _hot_ for a boy with a confirmed 127 kills. Of those 127, Hongjoong has assisted him with all through the tiny wire that ran up his back and to the shell of his ear. 

His very toned back.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong came to the company at the same time, being a perfect duo after Boss paired them up due to their training record and flawless execution of plans. And the Boss was right to do that because they were unstoppable and in a constant state of bringing in the most success, rarely failing their superiors. 

Though Seonghwa didn’t need a superior to tell him he has done a good job- he knew he did already. 

Hongjoong had talked to the assassin outside of missions, of course, but it had all been in KQ and that was where it went the furthest too. Everyone knew it was odd, odd being that partners rarely talk.

Seonghwa wasn’t one to really interact with him often, he preferred to discuss the agenda and then leave back to go back to his apartment and probably think about killing babies or something. 

“You don’t understand Mingi,” He moaned, lifting his head back up from the desk and scowling at Seonghwa’s amazon cart that held little dinosaur shaped macaroni and cheese. “He is out to snatch my heart and my ass.”

“He is?”

Joong ran his ringed fingers through his black hair and he pressed down on his temples with pressure just trying to relieve the stress that he knew was coming. He had never even been on a mission before, he wasn’t silent, he wasn’t skilled in not being seen, he couldn’t even throw a solid punch.

“What if I have to kill someone? Mingi, I can’t murder somebody-”

Mingi slapped him on the back, grinning from ear to ear. “You don’t know if you _have_ to. And, you already do kill people.”

“It’s not like you ever killed anyone.” Hongjoong said, his voice indignant.

“I'm assuming this is the part where you would like me to lie?”

Hongjoong had _technically_ killed people before, if one were to follow the legality system and see that he was an accessory and accomplice...but physically, tangibly- he had never even yelled at someone. 

Hongjoong and Mingi were hacktivists, people using their skills for political ends. Their company took out all things bad in politics and that included having them distribute government information, or something simple like defacing the public website of a security agency. But, he wasn’t necessarily a cold blooded killer. 

All Hongjoong had to do was pull up a blueprint of a house at times, tell him that the door on the left leads to the master bedroom… that kind of stuff. He may have been the little devil in his ear, but he wasn’t a killer like Seonghwa, Jongho, or Yunho. 

Oh, and Mingi now apparently.

Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at the boy who was once more pulling up Club Penguin to race again, his cute decorative space winked back at him in mockery. Mingi was sticking his tongue out as he slammed on his fancy keyboard, the rainbow lights shining off the metal reflective walls of the van. 

“When did you kill someone?” Hongjoong questioned as he leaned back in his swivel chair.

Mingi glanced over at him quickly, his fingers flying rapidly as he punched in cheat codes to make his board grow wings.

“If I told you, I would have to kill _you_.” Mingi said, raising an eyebrow, flying down the hill. He glanced back over to gauge Hongjoong’s reaction but then he exclaimed when he saw Joong’s computer screen. 

“Oh my god, Hongjoong, are you hacked into his amazon right now?”

He quickly turned the screen away, hugging his monitor close, scooting his chair back against the walls. He could feel his face turning red and hot like the items he was holding, clutched to his chest in a bisexual frenzy.

“No!”

Mingi shook his head with his mouth open in the shape of an _O_ and his eyes were lit up like the tech around them.

“Oh my god, you are!”

Hongjoong wailed in horror, rolling over to his partner and gripping his shoulders, his voice high and rushed.

“Stop Mingi, please don’t tell anyone. It wasn’t like I was finding or looking for metadata- I don’t even know where he lives. I swear I will buy you that mini form factor computing device that has that 336 MHz processor-”

Mingi cackled and rolled away from Hongjoong and he did a spin in his office chair with a gleeful look written across his features. Mingi’s sharp jawline was prominent with the wicked smirk that he drew from his lips, and his lashes were sweeping with the coy eyes he shot his way. He seemed to be thinking about something enjoyable since he let out a small giggle.

“Hongjoong, I have a plan.”

“Mingi, no.”

“Mingi, _yes_.” He ricocheted back, pulling himself to his computer. Hongjoong curiously peeked over at the boy who was now opening several tabs and pressing combination keys rapidly.

“What are you doing?” He asked slowly, narrowing his eyes.

“Playing into our shared culture, embracing our networked collection of subcultures, digging into our original roots. I am hacking into your computer-”

Hongjoong’s snort cut him off. “Good luck trying to get past my flag day.”

Mingi’s eyes were widened, and he put a hand over his heart, his black hoodie bunched around his elbows. 

“You mean the software that is neither forward or backward compatible? The one that costs to reverse?” 

Hongjoong was smug watching as Mingi turned back to his computer, his shoulders hunched and his eyes darting across the screen.

“Yes, that one.”

“I’m in.”

_“What?”_

Mingi rolled his eyes and he beckoned him closer from over his shoulder. “Come here, just look at what I am going to do.”

Hongjoong peered over as Mingi clicked furiously with his eyebrows scrunched up and his mouth twisted into a scowl. He watched as Mingi’s slim fingers darted carefully over his keys and he watched as the younger boy worked his magic and was able to see his talent that got him into the company in the first place. Mingi’s cursor hovered over Hongjoong’s own amazon, and he dragged dinosaur macaroni and cheese into _his_ cart. 

“You are going to bring this to our company dinner and you’re going to wow him.”

Hongjoong looked at Mingi, his face blank.

“You want me to bring boxed macaroni and cheese...to our company dinner.”

Mingi lifted his finger up, his face was wry. “Not just any mac and cheese, my grasshopper. Dinosaur shaped mac and cheese. It’s going to strike a conversation up, it will have Seonghwa falling into your arms, his cheesy fork high in the air with an overload of joy and horny feelings. It is fool proof.”

Hongjoong paused, his mouth slightly open in wonder and his mind spinning into a frenzy of chaos and awe.

“Song Mingi, I think you’re onto something.

  
  
  
  


If Hongjoong’s lingering glances across an office and his sighs into the wired bluetooth piece that connected them wasn’t enough to tell Seonghwa that he had an undying crush, then Hongjoong didn’t want to deal with it. 

Kang Yeosang, lookout, pushed his glasses up his nose. 

“Hongjoong.”

“No.”

“There’s no way he does not know you like him. You’re just dragging it out.”

Hongjoong spun around to face him- Yeosang was sitting in the Boss chair and his feet were kicked up on the long wooden meeting table. His boyfriend, Jongho, was sitting beside him with a grin. Yeosang smiled and patted his heart earnestly.

“It is becoming painful for us to watch. You two just make eyes across the room and wallow in your angst. You, with your nerdy morals and Seonghwa with his-” he broke into a deeper voice with uncanny, trademark heavy brows- “ _I am a killer who cannot redeem myself_ attitude.”

Jongho laughed loudly at the spectacle, (honestly he would laugh at anything Yeosang says) and at Hongjoong’s abashed face. “You are _so_ annoying Kang Yeosang.”

  
  
  
  
  


Seonghwa thinks being an assassin is too easy.

Well- for him anyways.

The killing is simple, and it _can_ be quick. When he wants it to be- of course. He is a silent killer, perfect at his job, and he knows more than 75 ways to kill a man just by naming them from the top of his head and counting his fingers and toes. He thinks that anyone with guts of steel could be a killer if they wanted, but not everyone is cut out for the rest of the requirements. 

In example, mutilating a body and disposing of it. 

He thinks this as he looks at a Hongjoong that is drooling and spitting into a can with his body hunched and ready to throw up.

The boy’s black hair is silky and it’s brushing over the middle of his ears and his head is hanging low making his bangs flop cartoonishly. Seonghwa grimaces and he kicks Hongjoong’s foot with his thick black boots. The sound is loud in the silence of the apartment.

“What’s wrong, rookie?”

Hongjoong spits into a trashcan and Seonghwa sighs. 

“Rookie.” He scoffs, wiping his mouth. “Not a rookie.”

“Prove it.”

Now they have to take the trash can. 

“You have to take that with us now- we can’t have our DNA anywhere.”

Hongjoong looks over his shoulder, his cat eyes are narrowed and rimmed red- Seonghwa thinks his eyes are annoyingly pretty.

“I _know_ ,” Hongjoong snaps and he holds his head with both hands and Seonghwa watches the afternoon sun catch light on the rookie’s rings, painting the surfaces of the walls the color of silver belles. Seonghwa notes that he never sees the boy without them. He always wondered if he removed the rings from Hongjoong if there would be tan lines littering his slim fingers- he supposes he could just _ask_ but Seonghwa would prefer just to kill him and then check after he removes them. 

Perhaps Seonghwa has a bit of a communication problem.

Seonghwa shrugs and he flips over the dead body onto their stomach with his foot and he curls his lip in disgust- they got blood on his new pants. Hwa looks back over at Hongjoong and he scowls. “Hey do you mind helping me with this, you know, our fucking mission?”

Hongjoong grumbles something and he stands up- he notices that his legs look shaky and he also catches the way his pupils are small and his stance is slightly different than usual. Seonghwa’s calculating eyes scroll over Hongjoong’s slim figure and he narrows his eyes at the way the boy is weak, even in the way he _held_ himself for crying out loud…annoying.

He has no fucking clue why San insisted they bring the brains with them on a misson- a fucking _mission,_ because as far as Seonghwa is concerned, Hongjoong stays behind the computer screens and the speakers in his ear directing Seonghwa through mazes. He isn’t a killer and it’s obvious in the way he is acting.

“Hongjoong.”

“Can you give me a moment? You didn’t have to stab him like that- why didn’t you just shoot him?”

Seonghwa steps forward and he gives his trademark stare. The stare that is completely devoid of anything, any facial movements, but yet it tells the story of _something_ ; Hongjoong has yet to figure out exactly what it means. Seonghwa watches Hongjoong’s throat constrict in a gulp and he sees the way he curls his fingers in sets of three… it’s a nervous habit.

“If you need a gun to kill somebody, you don’t belong here.”

Hongjoong gathers his courage, visibly, and he musters, “I’m new to this dead body thing- I’m only behind the scenes, Seonghwa, and you know that.”

“Boss put you on this mission so act like you have some respect for his orders.” Seonghwa feels bad and he never tries to be this… this snippy with Hongjoong. But, they _are_ dealing with a dead body.

Hongjoong is silent and he steps forward to help wrap up the body laying on the floor- he grabs a corner of the plastic sheet and nods at Seonghwa. 

Seonghwa is just glad the boy is finally moving from his spot at the trashcan, god, he’s ready to kill San for putting him with him. Hongjoong’s heart was too fragile and his eyes had not truly had the pleasure of seeing death. 

They roll the body tightly in the crinkling plastic and Seonghwa curls his lips at the man’s brains mushing through the clear covering. He ignores the way Hongjoong sniffles and looks away while he ties the corners and snaps the bands around it- even if it reminds him of how he was with seeing a dead body for the first time. He also ignores the way it pulls at his heart a bit. Seonghwa works on clearing his throat, his voice softer this time. Hongjoong had helped him with all of his missions, being his go-to man when he was in a crunch at a location. Hongjoong was his behind the camera partner.

“Hongjoong.”

He looks up, his eyes soft and watery. Seonghwa swallows thickly, but he keeps his face neutral.

“You can go downstairs and do what you need to do with his cameras, I can handle the rest. This is my job.”

They boy nibbles on his bottom lip and his eyes quickly scan the body of the former life, and he nods like he’s made up his mind about something.

“Okay.” His voice is a whisper, and Seonghwa can’t help but watch his small figure retreat slowly like he was afraid of Seonghwa taking him out too. He ignores the way the small of his back curves- it was like he kept forgetting how pretty Hongjoong was. He was used to not ever communicating with the boy. Hongjoong didn’t really come out from the office or van with Mingi and it wasn’t like Seonghwa did much either. 

Annoying.

Seonghwa glances back at the corpse and he sighs, he hates cleaning up.

  
  
  
  
  


“Company dinner soon boys!”

San’s voice is loud and boisterous as he holds up the marker high in the air, his face gleeful. The room hidden in the old factory is silent, void of sound except for the creaks of the wind against the glass. Their headquarters consisted of several old rooms that were renovated into miniature offices, weapon holders, and coffee stations.

Admittedly, it was too big for the eight of them but the hideout was perfect, and it held everything they wanted. If they had wanted to leave a knife or two laying out and about, well they could, and nobody would bat an eyelash or report for “health regulations”. 

Hongjoong glances around the table, at all six of them sitting, looking at San with boredroom. It is Yunho who speaks first.

“There are only eight of us, including you babe.”

San scoffs, tossing the marker behind him and it lands perfectly on the metal marker holder- Jongho, whistles impressed. (Boss ignores him, but Hongjoong sees the ghost of a smile on his lips.)

“Right,” He continues, “but we are a team, a company, our values should still be the same as other people.”

“We kill people.” Seonghwa deadpans, leaning back into his chair, his legs sprawled open and his body lazy. Hongjoong’s gut twists and he tries to look away from his black jean clad thighs and his arms that drooped over the armrests. 

Mingi from across the room smiles and makes a lewd motion. 

_Suck his dick_ he mouths, pumping his fist. Hongjoong flushes red and he waves his fist down frantically as Yeosang looks disturbed at the interaction next to him, catching it all.

San pauses his rambling, and he narrows his eyes at Mingi and Hongjoong, leaning forward.

“What are you two doing?”

They are silent as everyone turns to look at them, Seonghwa included. Their eyes meet and Hongjoong begins to feel even more flushed and embarrassed as his cheeks light up red and his leg bounces with all of the attention.

“Uh.”

San’s face falls, serious and blank and expecting an answer from the two.

“Uh?” He repeats back.

Mingi grins, “Hongjoong has _some…issues._ Boy issues.”

And if Hongjoong could ever kill anyone, ever, he decides in that moment that it would be Song Mingi. A million ways to murder a man flashed through his mind and he begins to wonder if he could hack their KQ system and put “Kill Mingi” as a mission on Mingi’s boyfriend, Wooyoung’s, computer and pretend to be shocked when he doesn’t show up for work the next day.

San looks intrigued and he leans forward even more.

“Oh?”

Seonghwa raises an eyebrow and he too leans forward on the table, his black shirt pooling on the surface. 

_Asshole_

“Are you going to bring the boy to the company dinner so we can meet him?” Yunho asks.

Hongjoong hates how close they all are. He really does. Because they all think it is okay to put an _official_ meeting on hold to discourse the course and road of Hongjoong’s fucking love life. What job does that?

(Who does that?)

Wooyoung smacks Yunho’s arm, his face crinkled with sadness, “Yunho, Mingi just said that he was having issues don’t be rude.”

Yeah, Wooyoung couldn’t kill Mingi for him.

Mingi giggled. 

Yeosang next to him tilted his head, “What happened? You never talk about your partners or anything-”

“Because he never has any.” Seonghwa says, his eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his middle- to him, it feels like he is challenging him. Hongjoong feels miserable and he twists his spinny chair away from them and faces the wall.

Several voices chorus together in protest to Seonghwa’s words- 

“Hey!” and a loud-

“Maybe he is more private than _you_ Seonghwa.” with Mingi jumping in to defend Joong’s dignity.

“- _Maybe if you just opened your eyes_ -”

Hongjoong cut them off before something slipped, and he held his hands up in horror. “Can we please not discuss whether I get any or not?”

San shrugged, pulling himself up off the table and clapping a strong hand on poor Yeosang’s shoulder next to him. “Okay, but if we need to make this a mission…”

“San, we can’t kill Hongjoong’s potential boyfriend.” Yunho protested, cooing at his boyfriend and boss. Yeosang still looked horrified and confused at the uproar that had just unfolded.

“Well,” Seonghwa said, shaking his head like Hongjoong was missing something, “who is he?”

They all waited, but Mingi just sat back smugly.

“Uh.”

San threw his marker behind him again, landing back in the holder, and he tossed his hands up in the air as everyone’s voices filled the air again.

Seonghwa tipped his body forward, resting his forearms on the table in front of him, and he tilted his head to the side.

“Who is it?”

Hongjoong fiddled with his grey hoodie string and tapped on the table nervously, trying to maintain eye contact with Seonghwa’s dark, piercing ones.

“Someone?”

“So it’s a secret?” He said, his lips twisting up into a rare smile. 

He leaned back as Hongjoong nodded, “Yeah, a secret.” and he looked like he knew something everyone else didn’t. He felt the butterflies in his stomach have an uprising at the fact that Seonghwa could know about his little crush. But- that would be _impossible_.

He thinks.

Their little cat and mouse game had been going on for too long now.

San brings the meeting back to normal.

  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, Hongjoong, stay behind for a moment.”

He watches as everyone leaves the room, and he especially watches the way Seonghwa does too, maybe letting his eyes linger on the assassin’s back. Even the way he walked was silent, smooth, and untraceable. It was like Seonghwa was the perfect human that didn’t have a detectable flaw- if you excluded the fact that he was a merciless killing machine. 

San sighs as he sits down on top of the table, gesturing for Hongjoong to sit in the chair beside it. He sits and he watches San wearily, running his hands through his hair. 

“Do you know why I put you on that mission, Joong?”

Hongjoong chews on his bottom lip and smiles at the nickname, “to break past the system?”

San has a small smile playing on his pink lips and he looks out the dark window, crossing his ankles in front of him. 

“Yes, there is that. But there is something else, another reason why I paired you with your already-partner.”

“And that is…?” He trails off, not really knowing where this was going to lead, what this meant exactly.

“I think Seonghwa is lonely.”

While they had company dinners, movie nights, and intimate missions together, Hongjoong didn’t expect something so...personal to be leaving San’s mouth. His boss.

“Sir?”

San sighed and he slid off the table, pacing the room like he had too much running through his mind all at once and it was clouding him.

“Seonghwa is my friend- one of my best friends actually, and I’m worried. I know I’m his boss, your boss, but at the end of the day I love my team and I love my friends. I’ve known Seonghwa for years now-”

And Hongjoong knows this, as he already abused his power a bit and he did some digging on his boss and Seonghwa due to 3am coffee addictions. It wasn’t too hard to find, but it was information that didn’t reveal itself too easily.

“-and I think that he just needs someone to bring along. Someone to chat with on the plane, car, the mission. You have been part of the duo for two years now, and I have never seen a pair work so well together. Though, I have never seen my hacker and assassin partners ever talk so little, too.”

Hongjoong knows Boss is right, he really, really does. It isn’t that simple though and he wished for a moment that he could just explain that Seonghwa is one of the hardest people to crack. There isn’t a backdoor in his system that allows Hongjoong to bypass into his mind, there isn’t a password that is hidden in hashing into data. Seonghwa isn’t a computer he can crack open with ease and malware- he is more of a Nonce. A string of numbers only used once that are generated by a system to identify for a specific task. After a period of time, the nonce isn’t ever used again and it’s erased from sight and mind. Hongjoong could only get the password wrong so many times on a human.

“Seonghwa isn’t...isn’t very approachable?”

San laughed this time and he shrugged. “But, he likes you. He wouldn’t ever say that, of course, but he respects you, doesn’t wanna kill you and what-not ya know.” He pauses, “Which is, a rare thing considering it is Seonghwa we are talking about.”

“He doesn’t like me.” Hongjoong replies, ignoring the flush rising to his face.

San rolls his eyes and he pulls his sleeves up to his elbows, leaning forward to rest his weight on the table. “He told me he likes you, idiot. He said the mission went just fine with you on it, he said you even helped with body disposal.”

He feels his stomach flutter at, " _He told me he likes you, idiot”_ , and he tried to ignore the way the flittering creatures danced to the tune gleefully. He tried to keep his voice impassive, cool, and simple toned.

“He said that?”

San nodded, “You did great, give yourself some credit. Anyways, I just wanted to ask you to keep it up, keep talking to him. I know this is more of a personal thing and this isn’t something you are obligated to do, but I’m asking you as a friend, not your Boss. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever had around here, Hongjoong. I hope you know that this isn’t just me using you to make someone happy. Seonghwa is capable, he’s a big boy. But, I think you too, would benefit from this.”

Hongjoong clicked his tongue, his mind already trying to process what was being said. San wanted him to get _closer_ to Seonghwa...he felt his throat close up with hot wires and thorns. 

“Okay.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Okay?” Jongho squeaked, the slice of pizza frozen halfway to his open mouth. Hongjoong shrugged sheepishly, embarrassed at Jongho’s shock. 

“Hongjoong, buddy-” Jongho started, his greasy finger in his face, almost touching the tip of his nose, “-you can’t even look at him properly. Remember when he asked you to pass him a coke? I thought you were gonna steal the can and keep it for later for your shrine.” The younger boy looked worried like he was in a panic. 

Jongho sat back against the couch, the pizza box in front of them empty and the T.V playing _Desperate Housewives_ silently, waiting for Joong to speak.

“I mean- yeah. Yeah, I dunno.”

The tiny assassin kept his face blank at him and he lifted his pizza back up with cheese slinging onto innocent victims, like the leather couch cushions and weed between them.

The cheesy slice was threatening him, flopping around as Jongho punctuated his words with the object towards his face.

“When you get married you better thank Boss. He is literally going above and beyond to get you two to bump butts.”

“Sex doesn’t work like that Jongho-”

“You telling me double ended dildos don’t exist?”

Hongjoong spluttered, “Well, _no_ they do but-”

“Oh, you wanna do the fucking. Got it.” Jongho said, waving his hand dreamily. Then he added, “I fuck Yeosang, you know.” 

“I know.” 

He took a deep drag of the blunt that Hongjoong passed his way, and Joong watched languidly as the tip lit up cherry red. It reminded him of the blood that littered the floor when he was with Seonghwa- he felt his stomach churn. There really was a difference between seeing it through the monitor and protection of a glass screen than seeing it happen in real life. 

_“Can you give me a moment? You didn’t have to stab him like that- why didn’t you just shoot him?”_

_“If you need a gun to kill somebody, you don’t belong here.”_

_Seonghwa enjoyed killing._

“Jongho don’t be so vulgar.”

The assassin rolled his eyes and he took another greedy drag before he passed it back pinched between his pointer finger and thumb. “Well it’s true,” he coughed, smoke sputtering out of his lungs and filling the living room. Hongjoong waved the thick air away and took the blunt from him, taking a longer drag than normal and took it in slowly, exhaling through his nose. He needed that to get through a conversation with Jongho.

“Hey, Jongho.” Hongjoong began nervously, not really wanting to have the conversation about murder- but it was bothering him, keeping him up at night. 

“Yeah?” He replied, his eyes closed and his head resting against the back of the couch, his brown fluffy hair messy with static.

“Do you enjoy killing people?”

Jongho cracked an eye open, and his lips turned down into a frown and he seemed to think for a moment. His hand was resting on his thigh and he began to draw circles on the surface of his jeans, and he bit his bottom lip.

“And if I said yes?” Jongho’s eyes were intense, dark in the dim lighting. For a fleeting second, Hongjoong knew what it was like to be under the eyelashes and sharp gaze of Choi Jongho. 

Hongjoong chewed on the inside of his cheek and thought quickly, not really sure how to respond. 

“I mean, I asked so you just gave me an honest answer.”

Jongho had a small, secret smile playing on his pretty features and he shrugged. “I think, after I killed my dad, it changed something in me even if I didn’t care that it was me who did it. Once you have the life and blood of someone on your hands it feels different, you feel different. Reborn almost.”

The silence was heavy with the smoke and Jongho kept his eyes on Hongjoong’s curious ones and he smiled. “He deserved it so it made it easy, it made the justice that much sweeter. The second time I killed someone, my mom, it felt even better than I could have imagined. I think killing is enjoyable when you have a hatred for that person, when the killing is intimate and...messy. I feel satisfaction in taking down these governmental figures because they’re bad people. I wouldn’t hurt someone who had innocence.” 

Hongjoong spoke quietly. 

“Why not?”

“Why kill someone who hasn’t done anything wrong? Why take out the good things? Life is beautiful, it can be happy and memorable.”

Hongjoong supposes there was a bit of a God complex when determining what is right and what is wrong, when it came to determining the death date of somebody. But, was he any better telling these people how to kill? 

“Hongjoong, there is no need to question yourself. You’re a good person, these people aren’t. They are killing innocent people, running sex trafficking rings with _children_ , embezzling money, causing families to be out in the streets. Families like ours when we were younger. We are getting justice, sweet, sweet, justice.” A smirk danced on Jongho’s lips and he truly saw him as a killer for the first time. 

He nodded.

Jongho let out a sudden groan, leaning forward pulling himself out of the little nook he created in the couch from frequent resting. It was his gaming and smoking spot, Hongjoong had grown to learn over the past year that Jongho was an interesting person- tiny, smiley, sweet, strong but ruthless. He was so _young_ joining KQ at the fresh age of nineteen, covered in his parent’s blood and brain matter. Hongjoong could see it so clearly.

  
  
  
  


”This is Choi Jongho.” San spoke, his hand resting on the kid’s back, his face splitting into a wide smile. The freshly nineteen year old sheepishly waved, but his shoulders were confident and his eyes bright. San shook his shoulder slightly, “Our newest addition to the team.”

“You tech?” Yeosang asked, leaning against the rolling whiteboard cooly, like he was trying to show off almost. 

“Assassination.” 

Yeosang’s eyes widened and his arm slipped causing the board to roll forward, allowing the gangly boy to fall to the cold unforgiving surface of the floor. Several snickers from the team filled the room, and Hongjoong felt miserably embarrassed. 

Jongho raised an eyebrow, “Is he-?”

“Our eyes. He keeps lookout, he is typically more...silent.” Seonghwa answered for Yeosang, zeroing his eyes on the boy who was pulling himself up from the ground in deep shame, his gaze on the floor. He finally looked up after pulling himself to the board, a small wave playing on his fingers to the newest member.

Jongho gave an awkward smile, turning to look back at San, who was shooting glares at Yeosang through a disguised smile.

“As I was saying, Jongho’s work is quick, _silent_ -” he narrowed his eyes at the boy who had slipped, “-and clean.”

Jongho looked around, his gaze looking over every member in curiosity that seemed burning. San swept his hand over the bunch who were all scattered around the table, some sitting on top, and Mingi with his feet kicked up. They weren’t professional or business looking, their “uniform” were their regular street clothes (which typically involved all of them wearing black, San didn’t mind. They were killers anyways, they didn’t need to stand out). 

Seonghwa pointed to Hongjoong, who was curled up in an office chair with his shoes off- “That’s Hongjoong. One of the members of our hacker duo. He is also my partner. He is our residential pretty boy, smart, able to get through any system, and he can be ruthless when he needs to be. He will also find anything you are hiding from us.” 

Hongjoong felt his cheeks flare at ‘pretty boy’ and he nodded shyly at Jongho, who had eyes that seemed to look right through him. 

San gestured to Seonghwa, “Seonghwa. Our leader in missions, the person you go to when I’m not here. The best of the best, could murder you in less than one second and leave the room without anyone noticing. He’s actually soft once you get to know him, don’t worry.”

Seonghwa’s eyes remained blank and Hongjoong was endeared.

Mingi spoke.

“Mingi! I’m the other hacker, and I too, will find out anything you’re hiding but I will dig even deeper than that. I’m also nicer than Seonghwa.”

San nodded over to his relaxed position of feet up on the desk.

“Mingi is a fucking genuis and not as badass and he tries to be.”

Mingi glared.

Yeosang, next to the planning board, spoke this time but his voice was...different. Deeper.

“I’m Kang Yeosang. I keep eyes on everyone and anything, I know my way around anywhere and I am usually in hiding, watching the hiding. The people who hide- while I hide in hiding- hiding.” I

The room was silent as everyone looked at Yeosang, who was desperately trying to look casual, collected. Jongho seemed charmed though.

“Cute.”

Yeosang looked delighted.

While smiling, he pointed to Yunho. 

“That’s Yunho. One of our assassins, and quick. Also dating San, Boss, but we act like it isn’t company violation or anything. So keep it on the downlow. Yunho usually takes care of assassinations in political settings, like parades or debates.”

Yunho smiled brightly and he waved. 

Wooyoung spoke, “I’m Wooyoung, also deeply violating company rules because I am dating Mingi. I also do killing.” Wooyoung did mini finger guns at Jongho, making _pewpew_ noises between his lips. Yunho looked disgusted, but turned to Jongho’s raised eyebrows, and said, “believe it or not, he has 72 kills. We don’t know how either.”

Jongho took in the crew, and despite his charming confidence and smile, Hongjoong could see the nervousness brewing underneath. His hands were in his hoodie pockets probably to hide the shaking, his feet were shifting back and forth, a little more weight on his left though. Hongjoong noted that he might be injured. He noticed the way his breathing pattern was uneven, quick in succession then slow to calm himself down. He was hesitant in his words, weighing each carefully and cautiously. 

“He is calculated.” Seonghwa muttered next to him, quietly. Everyone was too busy talking and gawping at the new, tiny thing, that it was almost like Hongjoong and Seonghwa were in their own little world. Sometimes, Hongjoong liked to imagine that they were.

It was a guilty fantasy of his.

Hongjoong’s heart thudded and he nodded.

“I noticed.”

It was all he could manage out with Seonghwa close to him, muttering in his ear. Hongjoong swore that in times like these, Seonghwa knew what he was doing. He was just testing out his boundaries.

“I know.”

Jongho smiled blindingly, a little too bright, and he nodded at all of them. “Nice to meet you all.”

Seonghwa’s voice was loud over the chatter, which quickly died down after his pressing question that was bound to be asked eventually.

“How many kills?”

“Two.”

Seonghwa looked to San, his eyes questioning. Jongho saw the fleeting movement, and he spoke, his voice steady.

“My parents.”

“Oh.” Yeosang said slowly, letting out a whistle.

Jongho glanced to San, his eyes now cold and his body language nonchalant in a sense, like it wasn’t weighing heavy on his strong shoulders.

“San knew them, knew it was me, knew I didn’t care, and he brought me here.” 

Hongjoong tilted his head studying San’s facial expressions. San looked confident in his choice and he shrugged. 

Yeosang spoke first to break the odd tension and Hongjoong was grateful for the boy who always knew what to say in times like these. He was comforting and home-like.

“I trust San, he’s our Boss. He knows what he’s doing, he’s never failed us, Jongho. We are the elite, we are the best of the best, and I know it may not seem like it. We keep it lighthearted to ignore the fact that we kill for a job because at the end of the day we have to go home and catch some sleep. We are a team that works together, and if San brought you here that means you too, will be one of the best. It isn’t egotistical to think that, not one fucking bit. You belong here, you already fit right in. You have blood on your hands and we would rather you live to kill, not kill to live. Welcome.”

The teen’s body eased up, tension melting from his stiff shoulders and rigid legs, and Seonghwa next to Hongjoong also relaxed. Joong turned to glance at him, to maybe catch a glimpse of what he was thinking, but Seonghwa was already looking at him.

  
  
  
  


“I don’t know how to kill.” 

Seonghwa looked up from his newspaper- which, by the way, Hongjoong thought was extremely comical. It was the classic spy move, the classical movie insert that portrayed the hideout in plain sight. Except, people don’t read newspapers anymore. While they were actually on a mission that required monitoring, Seonghwa had wanted to read the current news.

(“Hongjoong, there is a pandemic going on right now. We need to be well informed because the pandemic will start doing our job for us. Then what?”)

Seonghwa looked up from his newspaper, his black shades hiding his eyes but not the twist of his lips.

“You don’t need to.”

Hongjoong scowled and stirred his tea as he kept his watchful eye on their target across the street. Actually, he _did_ , thank you very much, Seonghwa. He wanted to know how to defend himself.

So, he stated that to him.

Seonghwa made a _pfffft_ sound with his pink lips and he flicked the page over lazily. “You have me.”

Hongjoong blushed- “That doesn’t help me when I am alone.”

Seonghwa sighed and put down his newspaper to peer at him over the tops of his sunglasses and he raised one perfect brow. Hongjoong challenged him back with a brow lifted too. Seonghwa kept his face steady and Hongjoong soon looked away. Damn.

“You think someone is targetin’ you?” Seonghwa posed.

“Well, no, but they could one day. Also, to say that I don’t need to learn and just rely on you is kind of insulting. I don’t need a big strong man to defend me or whatever.”

“You think I am strong?” Seonghwa said smiling, picking back up his paper.

“-I-Is that all you got from that, Hwa?”

Their target stood up to brush off their slacks and shake hands with their business partner (Kim Majwo, 57, proclaimed ‘activist’ for human rights, trafficker) and Seonghwa remained neutral. It did cut off their conversation as they kept a steady eye.

“I like when you call me Hwa.” Seonghwa replied.

Hongjoong kept his eyes on the target, just like Seonghwa had instructed, and he tried to find a weakness or something observable that he could use to his advantage. Seonghwa was training him in ‘studying’ and while Hongjoong found it a bit boring, Seonghwa said it was the foundational skills of missions that weren’t behind a screen.

“You don’t like anything,” Hongjoong mused, noticing Kim Majwo’s habit of dusting his hands on his pants. Maybe nervousness, maybe a habit, maybe a calming move?

“That’s not true. Also, it’s because he is allergic to the creamer in his coffee. Hives are rising on his palms and he has always ordered black coffee- his partner ordered it for him this time.”

Hongjoong cursed. 

“What do you mean it’s not true?”

Seonghwa only hummed and then nodded towards Kim Majwo’s direction. Hongjoong looked back over and the man was gone. 

“You lost your target.”

“Fuck.”

  
  
  
  


Wooyoung narrowed his brows at Hongjoong, face contorted.

“You’re terrible at aiming. How the fuck do you even make it in the toilet with your dick?”

Hongjoong turned around but forgot he was holding a gun and it swung towards the rest of the staff- several heads ducked and choruses of horror echoed through the shooting range.

Well, all but Seonghwa ducked.

Seonghwa hopped off the desk full of bullets and kicked Mingi out of his way. Mingi flipped a middle finger up and the rest of the assassins were still hunkered down. Seonghwa yanked the gun out of Hongjoong’s hand. 

“You-” he reloaded the gun in one swift motion and leveled it- he shot three times directly on the floating grey head, “-have no concept of patience.”

Hongjoong kept his dick in his pants and his voice steady, “that didn’t seem very patient to _me_....”

Seonghwa looked at him but a tiny smile twitched up on the left corner of his mouth.

Jongho threw his hands up, “How is that cute to you, Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa aimed the gun at Jongho without looking and he switched off the safety- Jongho ducked down faster than he did with Hongjoong.

Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile. 

Seonghwa grabbed Hongjoong’s hip and turned him back to the floating figures that were struck repeatedly with bullet holes and used a large hand to pull up Hongjoong’s right arm. His hand slid from the wrist to his elbow and he told him to keep his eyes forward.

It was very hard to even focus on the floating figures and Hongjoong tried to keep himself still, hoping to not wriggle his way out. 

Seonghwa’s voice was right in his ear- he felt the tips of his lobes redden but Seonghwa was now showing him what he wanted all along. _How to kill_. For someone who was so _cold_ , he felt warmer than ever.

Seonghwa’s hand was still underneath the bone of his elbow and his other hand now brought up Hongjoong’s left arm that was holding the handgun. Seonghwa pressed Hongjoong’s hands together, he murmured, “Level it. Focus. Kill.”

Hongjoong nodded and it was like everyone was gone, all he could see was what was in front of him and all he could feel was what was behind him.

“What are you thinking about?” Seonghwa pressed.

“The gun.”

Hongjoong’s hands were shaking.

“Think about your target. Where do you want to shoot, Hongjoong?”

“Right through his eye.”

Seonghwa let out a puff of laughter in his ear and he made Hongjoong tighten his shoulders by letting his left arm trail over the slopes of them.

“That’s my Joong.” 

Hongjoong tried not to let Seonghwa see the wave of pleasure roll through him- for a man who was questioning the morality of killing, Hongjoong sure was excited to get a bullet through someone if that meant that Seonghwa would be touching him.

Now was definitely not the time for morals. 

Seonghwa brought his hand back to Hongjoong’s and he cocked the safety off for him and he leveled the gun for him.

“What’s next?” Seonghwa questioned him, as if his words weren’t burned into his brain.

“Focus.”

“Then…?”

“Kill.”

Hongjoong pulled the trigger, a bullet blazing a fiery trail right through the blue head’s eye.

  
  
  
  


It would make sense now, now that Hongjoong has looked back on everything that led him up to the moments with Seonghwa.

The air was thick in the van- not just from the excitement from their solo mission.

Hongjoong felt nervous as Seonghwa watched his fingers click over his board keys, tapping certain ones in quick succession. 

“What are you doing?” Seonghwa asked curiously, dark eyes flicking up to his side profile- Hongjoong felt him do a quick scan of his earrings that decorated his lobes.

“I-” Hongjoong replied, dragging his mouse over his screen, “-am trying to see if his computer is part of a botnet.”  
“A botnet?”

“Botnets are networks of computers controlled by an attacker, and this could easily be part of one. Hackers deploy malware to infect random computers that are connected to the internet. If your computer gets infected, your machine might be stealthily performing a hacker's bidding in the background without you ever noticing.”

Seonghwa was silent as Hongjoong worked some more, and his eyes wandered around the back of the van, the mini home impressive. His eyes worked up to the mirrored ceiling and back at Hongjoong.

“You could honestly never leave this thing, huh?”

Hongjoong felt himself smile, “Yeah, but I think I would miss the outside world too much. It’s a fun little escape, but it is work.”

Seonghwa peered at him through his thick lashes, his head tilted.

“Do you enjoy work?”

He felt his brows furrow- “Yeah, I love computers.”

“But do you enjoy killing people?”

And that was a question he constantly tried to avoid. 

Hongjoong felt his fingers stop, and his index finger slightly twitched- the sounds of his typing now gone and the van silent. Seonghwa was sitting straight in his chair, his posture perfect (not that Hongjoong expected anything less) and his black hair was falling over his brows. 

“No.”

(That’s a lie) 

Hongjoong placed his hands in his lap and he leaned back in his chair, focusing on the mirrored ceiling above him. The top of Seonghwa’s head was shiny and his shoulders broad- various dirty thoughts entered Hongjoong’s head as he looked up at the mirror above him.

Mingi had bragged several times about riding Wooyoung and seeing himself in the reflective surface that rested above them. (“It’s like- super fun. You and Seonghwa should try it out.”)

“You’re really blunt with your wording.” Hongjoong added in the silence.

“It- I wasn’t trying to be - but-” Seonghwa seemed to search for his words but all he could get out was just a dull, “ _yeah_.” and he busied himself with readjusting the knives strapped to his thighs.

Hongjoong tried not to watch.

  
  
  
  
  


The company dinner was coming up.

Quickly. 

Mingi and Hongjoong were at KQ, sitting in their computer chairs and silently working on their next task at hand. Mingi was working out the bugs and looking for additional information and Hongjoong was forming a game plan and looking at blueprints for Seonghwa. Their last assignment had gone well, Seonghwa had almost gotten shot but Hongjoong had already prepared for a secret exit.

Seonghwa had wanted to blow up a wall to get out and Hongjoong had just silently opened a side window that dropped down to the backyard. Hongjoong had already laid a ladder for their escape.

“Mingi.”

Mingi turned around in his swivel chair, mouth full of chips- “whpath?”

Hongjoong winced, “Gross.”

Mingi tossed a golden potato flake his way and dusted his crumbs off towards that direction too. He was smug and showed no mercy when it came to him and Hongjoong in a van, and that lack of mercy extended to the office too. Hongjoong flipped him the middle finger and continued.

“Do you think Seonghwa likes me?”

“I don’t think he likes anyone,” Mingi said, chewing, “he seems to just tolerate.”

Hongjoong liked asking Mingi for advice or an honest answer, as he was always willing to share what he thought. And usually, Mingi was never wrong. To others he may come off strange or maybe a bit dense but those who actually knew him were gifted the chance to see the genius behind that exterior. 

Hongjoong supposes Mingi did it for protection, or maybe just to make light of their situation that seemed too dark at times. Hongjoong had never asked him why. 

“But-” Mingi added, “I think if he were to like any group of people in the world, it would be us.”

Hongjoong smiled softly.

“And-” he continued, “-If he were to like anyone, it would be you. Hongjoong, everyone wants you two together and he seems to want you too- so I am not sure why you’re still doubtful.”

Hongjoong huffed. “Because, I don’t know for sure.”

“Do we humans know anything for sure?” Mingi asked, suddenly philosophical. He rolled his eyes and looked back down at his work.

“Do you think he would like me if I brought the dinosaur shaped macaroni and cheese?”

Mingi giggled and sat up from his slouched position in his chair and he shrugged.

“I did say that could woo him, right?”

“You did.” Hongjoong said.

“It’s worth seeing his face when he knows you hacked into his Amazon.” Mingi said rolling his chair back to his computer 

Hongjoong frowned- “How would he know?”

Mingi raised both of his eyebrows and turned his chair to face Hongjoong… he only had one shoe on. Hongjoong was not going to ask where the other was, as there was no telling.

“Joongie, the coincidence of you, an elite hacker, bringing Seonghwa’s most bought item on Amazon to the dinner party…”

Hongjoong paused for a moment. “I thought we agreed the plan was fool proof?”

“Fool proof in the sense that he would know that you like him, officially, and he would make a move.”

Hongjoong opened his mouth to argue and he was scooting his chair over to Mingi’s- to hit him of course- but a loud voice with a silent entrance interrupted them.

“Who is gonna make a move on Hongjoong?”

Seonghwa had entered and to be quite honest, Hongjoong was not sure how he was so silent with all of his gear that was attached to him at all times. 

Especially the jingle of knives.

For once, Mingi also seemed too stunned to answer and he pushed Hongjoong’s chair away from him with his one-shoed-foot and Hongjoong sat back nervously.

Although Hongjoong and Seonghwa had been spending more time than usual together on their missions and their conversations were not as bland as they used to be, he still found himself a little breathless when Seonghwa walked in. 

Seonghwa was like- _beautiful,_ and Hongjoong had trouble keeping his eyes off of him whenever his cat eyes scanned the room, whenever his shirt would tense with him, and whenever his teeth would grit before he went in for the kill.

Mingi spoke with an annoyed tone lacing his words, “I will never get used to you coming in like that. You are silent, Park Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa had a small smile and he flashed a bit of his teeth.

“It takes practice.”

Mingi snorted, but happily, “Remind me to hire you when I want to die a peaceful death. I want to be surprised and taken off guard. It makes things exciting.”

Seonghwa was walking towards their circles of desks and he slid up on one of them, letting his hands casually rest behind him as he stretched back.

Hongjoong thought he was going to pass out with Seonghwa’s thighs _right there_ beside his desk. God, they were glorious up close.

“Well, Mingi, I never said it would be peaceful.”

“You’re rotten.” Hongjoong said with a small smile too.

Seonghwa glanced his way and his smile was still there. He sighed dramatically, “I suppose if I were paid to kill someone peacefully, I would carry out their wish.” He paused for a moment, then added, “Hongjoong would have to help me though.”

Hongjoong spluttered and Mingi giggled as he tossed his empty chip bag in the trash. 

“Why would I have to help you kill someone peacefully?”

Seonghwa shrugged, “To clear your conscience.”

Hongjoong scowled and he twisted his rings nervously. “I do not think killing someone would clear my conscience about my job, Seonghwa.”

“But, if they requested it?” Seonghwa asked, one eyebrow raised.

Mingi made a sound and pointed his finger at Seonghwa, “That’s a good point.”

Hongjoong snorted and rolled his eyes, going back to his screen.

“Mingi, would you want Seonghwa or Wooyoung to take you out though?” Hongjoong asked turning back to them.

“Seonghwa. Wooyoung would do it with a smile.” Mingi replied instantly. Wooyoung had just entered the room at the time Mingi was speaking and he smiled wickedly. 

“Do what with a smile?” He asked, sliding his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder and tapping his nose with his finger.

“Kill him.” Hongjoong added, tired of the conversation.

Seonghwa’s eyes were on him and he tried to ignore them.

“Hongjoong, I have kill-side manners.” Seonghwa said, that stupid small smile back on his lips.

Hongjoong threw his hands up, exasperated, “It should not matter, we should not be happily discussing the morals of killing and if we want our boyfriends to kill us peacefully.”

He said all of this with his eyes pointedly at a Wooyoung and Mingi smiling happily.

“You don’t even have a boyfriend, Joongie.”

Hongjoong grabbed Mingi’s only shoe off of his foot and hurled it at him. Seonghwa laughed. 

Hongjoong could not help but smile too.

  
  
  
  


There were times Hongjoong was grateful that San, Boss, made him train for first aid before being successfully admitted to the company.

(”Why would I ever need it? I am in a van all day.” 

San laughed, “We could get attacked any day, you do understand that right?” San swirled his finger around his shot glass and he spoke carefully. “I lost my hacker, Maddox, because one of our trainees didn’t know how to stitch up a wound. Something so simple- it wasn’t his fault of course, how would he know if he had never learned?” 

Hongjoong sipped his drink, thinking deeply. “Okay, train me.”

San laughed, “I’m decent at first-aid, that is why we have Seonghwa, he is the one with a medical background.”)

So, that being said, Hongjoong was feeling kind of cursed considering that he needed to pull a bullet out of Seonghwa… like _right_ now. 

The blood oozed and bubbled mockingly out of Seonghwa’s arm and it seemed to wink at him as it dripped down onto his black leather combat boots. He felt queasy and tried not to look as Seonghwa gritted his teeth together in pain.

It _was_ Hongjoong’s fault the mission didn’t go well, and it had been Seonghwa who had carried it out successfully despite the .22LR ledged into his shoulder, deep in the tissue between bones and fleshy veins. 

Hongjoong wondered if he would ever be the same.

“Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong snapped out of it, dazed and sticky feelings- butterflies were fluttering widely in his throat trying to pool out onto the bloody van. He looked up at the mirror ceiling and he felt like he was watching himself from the outside, reality never the same, he was ever changing.

Floating.

_”Hongjoong.”_

Hongjoong was brought back down once more and he met Seonghwa’s dark, dark eyes.

“I can talk you through this.” Seonghwa said, acting like he wasn’t just shot, he was calm, cool, collected as one could be.

“Please.” Hongjoong said, then more quietly, “I don’t want you to die.” Seonghwa had the audacity to laugh, it was strained, but he still laughed.

“Joong, it’s not a major wound. It is just my shoulder. But it hurts, and I would like for you to get it out as soon as possible.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

Seonghwa looked shocked, blinking rapidly a few times, and he was gripping his elbow tightly, “You pushed me out of the way, Hongjoong. He was aiming for my heart- I still cannot believe you jumped in front of me like a maniac. Do you realize that you could have been killed?”

Yeah, Hongjoong was well aware. He had not been thinking, he had just been focused on one thing- Seonghwa. That was all his brain was fumbling out when the man had jumped out behind the corner, when Hongjoong had somehow missed him on the camera survelliance, when the man pulled out a fucking gun.

Seonghwa had looked furious when Hongjoong jumped in front of him. Seonghwa had wide eyes as Hongjoong shoved his way to shield his body and his arm immediately wrapped around his middle as he tried to drag them to safety. The man had hit his target on Seonghwa- but that was after Seonghwa had Joong pressed close to his body and raised one arm to shoot the man right between the eyes. 

Hongjoong knew it was stupid, thank you very much. 

“You could have been killed too-” was all that Hongjoong had said in reply.

His fingers began to work and even though his mind felt like it was on autopilot, Seonghwa guided him through step-by-step being the one to fly them back home. Currently, he was trying to wrap his bare shoulder.and he was repeating back everything Seonghwa was saying two times each.

(“Wrap in a crossing motion.”

“Wrap in a crossing motion. Wrap in a crossing motion.”)

  
  
  
  
  


The rest were worried.

“How is Seonghwa gonna cook his dish for the office party if he has to wear a sling?”

Jongho rolled his eyes and tightened his arm around Yeosang’s shoulders. “He is just going to bring his dinosaur mac and cheese. Do you think he can cook?”

Hongjoong found himself tuning in at the mention of dinosaur mac and cheese.

Mingi and he met eyes across the room. Hongjoong tried to telepathically scream towards Mingi- _It is not a secret?!_

Mingi seemed to catch on and he played dumb.

“Dinosaur mac and cheese?”

Jongho nodded looking at his fingernails boredly, “It is like his favorite thing in the world. We all know this. Seonghwa doesn’t know that we know, though.”

Mingi looked back over at Hongjoong and he shrugged like he was saying- _what can you do about it?_ and _how was I supposed to know?_

Hongjoong scowled at him across the room, hoping daggers were digging into his eyeballs. 

Hongjoong was beginning to think that Mingi wanted him to be discovered all along. 

  
  
  


Seonghwa looked incredibly sexy before he killed someone.

A part of Hongjoong was like-

_Holy fuck that is very, obviously, incredibly, morally wrong_

But, alas, that part of his brain shut down and kicked the other out with a mighty heave whenever they saw Seonghwa narrow his eyes down the scope of a gun.

Hongjoong was trying to breathe as quietly as possible, as he was afraid that if he were to be too loud, the man 300 feet away would escape. Also, he was incredibly close to Seonghwa. 

The two were laying down flat and propped up on their elbows on top of an empty building that was once a manufacturing company. Their target was sitting in a cafe- a business meeting. 

“How did you know Majwo was going to sit by the window?”

Seonghwa smiled and he continued to look through the scope on the long sniper. “Well,” he began, “I didn’t.”

Hongjoong breathed out and pulled up his binoculars. The older man was sipping on what looked like red wine, probably dry, and he was chatting aimlessly with his fellow colleagues. To any other onlooker it must have looked like a pair of wealthy men discussing their wives or golf clubs. To Seonghwa and Hongjoong, it was a man settling a business deal that cheated the markets and brought new connections into the drug ring that was running underneath Seoul. 

Seonghwa took the safety off of the sniper and Hongjoong watched as his muscles flexed in his sleeveless top- which was, by the way, fucking _awful_ for Hongjoong’s attention span. Seonghwa had a tiny metal pin like thing in between his teeth and his eyes were narrowed. 

“Hongjoong.”

“Yes?” He answered immediately.

“You’re going to pull the trigger.” 

_Jongho had a small, secret smile playing on his pretty features and he shrugged. “I think, after I killed my dad, it changed something in me even if I didn’t care that it was me who did it. Once you have the life and blood of someone on your hands it feels different, you feel different. Reborn almost.”_

He had his eyes trained on him, and for a fleeting moment, Hongjoong felt as if he were the target that had fallen underneath the wrath of Park Seonghwa. His stomach swooped so low to the ground that he wondered if the people below on the streets, 37 floors down, had felt the drop of his body. Seonghwa tilted his head and crooked his finger.

“Seonghwa-” he breathed out breathlessly.

“Come here, Hongjoong.” 

Hongjoong didn’t see how he could get any closer to him, they were both shoulder to shoulder on the floor of their hideout as they peered out the glass window that ran from the top of the ceiling to the bottom.

Seonghwa got up into a crouched position and he pulled Hongjoong underneath his body and then settled back down. Oh. 

Seonghwa was ready to help him pull the trigger. 

His body was solid- all muscle, and his leg was thrown over Hongjoong’s in a sturdy manner. He had complete control of the gun that was set up on the tripod clamp. It was like he said just a few moments ago- _you’re going to pull the trigger._

Seonghwa’s face was dangerously close to his and their cheeks were brushing. Seonghwa’s slender, but incredibly strong, arms were folded around the outside of his.

Hongjoong’s throat was so fucking dry and his heart was erraticly squabbling around trying to grasp onto anything, anyone, that it could. Wasn’t this something he had always dreamed about? Something he had wanted? Now, he got his own taste of Park Seonghwa in his mouth.

“Put your finger on the trigger, baby.” 

Hongjoong obeyed instantly and he leaned forward to peer through the scope that was focused on Kim Majwo. 

_Level it. Focus. Kill._

“Level it.” Seonghwa whispered, teeth grazing his lobe.

“Focus.” Hongjoong repeated.

“Kill.”

Kim Hongjoong pulled the trigger and he was reborn.

  
  
  
  


Hongjoong felt high after his kill.

“I did it.”

“You did.” Seonghwa said, proudly.

Hongjoong thrived underneath the attention and he shook his shoulders a bit cutely and faced the computer in his van. Seonghwa hummed and sprawled back in Mingi’s chair, tossing a glance up to the mirror on the ceiling. Hongjoong, was pulling up their emails and security cams, wiping all traces of evidence. He knew they were in safe hands, KQ was the elite, the best, but he always double checked just to make sure. 

“Why do you have a mirror on the ceiling of the van?”

Hongjoong paused his clicking and he looked up too. “Dunno. I think Mingi thought it would be cool or something like that. I think he just wanted Wooyoung… well- you know.”

Seonghwa glanced over at Hongjoong curiously, and back towards the roof.

“Have you tried it out?”

Hongjoong’s first reaction was to laugh, loudly, and he shook his head. He hated how Seonghwa could fluster him in less than a second- he hated it with a burning passion. It was always so obvious on his features whenever Seonghwa pulled wild cards like this. Though, it really was not a wild card because wasn’t everyone in KQ always bringing up sex every moment they got?

They were literally discussing Hongjoong’s sex life like it was the communal salsa dip not even two weeks ago at the meeting. 

Seonghwa’s lips quirked up. “I take that as a yes?”

“Don’t play coy, Seonghwa, you can read me easily. The answer is no.” Hongjoong said this a bit bravely, figuring it was the high of the kill that made him more bold than usual. Also, it could have been the electric current of tension that was sliding up and down the walls awaiting an affirmative move.

Seonghwa hummed and spreaded his legs a bit further as he leaned back into Mingi’s chair. “Well, you think I would be able to read you.”

Hongjoong tilted his head as his silky black hair brushed over the tips of his ears.

“Can you not?”

Seonghwa looked at him through heavy lashes and a low, seductive gaze was shot his way. “Sometimes I can. Sometimes I think I can see you blossoming, changing, uprooting yourself. Then, other times you plant yourself down and become so stubborn that I don’t think an earthquake could move you.”  
Hongjoong’s voice lowered into a whisper, “I don’t understand.”

Seonghwa smiled.

“You’re unpredictable. People are creatures of habit that rarely change- it’s only natural.” 

He twirled his finger around the tip of his now clean knife and let his head fall to the side as he studied it. He spoke.

“There was a study done on rats by Bence Ölveczky that tested their habits of outcomes on level pressing and receiving awards. Over time, the outcome for success dropped and narrowed until only lever presses that were exactly 700 milliseconds apart were rewarded. Eventually, over 10,000 to 15,000 trials, each of the dozen rats in the study took up the motor sequences equal to the experiment. The rats solved the task in idiosyncratic ways and used precise motions of seemingly random actions… from scratching the wall, sticking to the proper timing between lever presses. They were trying new things out until they got the perfect result, the 700 milliseconds.”

Hongjoong raised a brow, “So I am one of Bence Ölveczky’s rats?”

Seonghwa hummed, “Maybe. Is that all you got from that?”

Hongjoong shrugged and bit on the flesh of his nail, thinking for a moment.

“You can’t pin me down?”

Seonghwa grinned. “Figuratively speaking.”

Hongjoong blushed and tried to continue on. 

“So…” he crossed his ankles, “you think that I don’t do things of habit.” It was more of a statement that Hongjoong was making.

“Sometimes. You don’t make any sense. I think one moment you may run from this all, but then you’re still there waiting for your task. Very flight-y. Russian Roulette.”

It was Hongjoong’s turn to smile.

Seonghwa hummed, “See. I thought you would be offended but you smiled….” 

“I think it’s funny- I guess. I always thought I was too predictable and I don’t like that. It makes me feel vulnerable and like an easy target.” Hongjoong replied, but it was cautious.

Seonghwa looked troubled for a minute and he cocked his head then opened his mouth, speaking slowly.

“Two weeks ago you were questioning the ethics and morality of killing bad people, you threw up when we had to take care of a body. But now? You pulled the trigger, something you only started practicing three days ago. You’re anything but an easy target.”

They were silent for a few minutes as Hongjoong worked and Seonghwa cleaned his knives steadily and rhythmically. Usually the van was more lively but that was because Mingi never let anyone ever have a dull moment on his watch.

(“Won’t you miss not having me on some missions?”

“I won’t be gone forever, I am just working with Seonghwa more than usual.”

Mingi pouted, “Keep the van alive.”)

Though, the van did feel _alive_.

“Hey, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa continued cleaning his weapons, only sparing a quick glance up as Hongjoong was still facing his monitor.

He continued, “I liked killing.”

Seonghwa paused, holding his caping knife (a favorite) the ivory handle gleaming mockingly. 

_If you need a gun to kill, you do not belong here._

“That’s okay. I liked helping you.”

Hongjoong tilted his head back on the top of his chair and he let out a deep breath.

“I feel so fucked up.”

“You should feel powerful.”

Hongjoong flinched- Seonghwa was right beside him now, their knees brushing. Hongjoong hadn’t even heard him pull the chair over. Their thighs almost overlapped and Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong’s chair forward. “Think about it, Hongjoong. You just took evil out of the world.”

Their faces were almost touching now and Seonghwa’s eyes were flitting around Hongjoong’s face. He felt the air leave his body and his eyes were scanning too. They both soaked up the moment and Seonghwa had a small smile on the left corner of his lips that was trying to tug up. 

“I am trying to predict what you’re going to do.” Hongjoong said quietly. “You’re kind of a wildcard too, you know.”

“Well,” began Seonghwa, “I know what I have been wanting to do.”

Their noses were touching now. Seonghwa’s strong, deadly hands reached up and gently traced the bridge of Hongjoong’s nose and his eyes had a glint in them. Hongjoong shivered. 

“Do it then.”

Now, Hongjoong was not one for romantics and paragraphs of confessed love that rivaled dramas that his mom used to watch on their small television. But, he did understand what they meant by butterflies in the stomach. Kissing Seonghwa was not as scary as he thought it was going to be, it was _dangerous_.

Dangerous in the way his bottom lip dragged upwards in soft nudges, the way his tongue was ever so gently following the wake of his lips, and the definitely in the way Seonghwa’s large hand was resting on his throat. 

His kisses were gentle but Hongjoong knew what he was capable of- the hand on him was the gentle reminder of what they both had done.

The butterflies in his stomach were electrified and buzzing around and zapping anything they could touch. Hongjoong felt himself let out an uneven breath that he did not even know he was trapping in his lungs. That seemed to only urge Seonghwa in and he pulled Hongjoong’s jaw closer to his. They paused for a moment to pull apart and Hongjoong could not meet his eyes- Seonghwa tapped his forehead with the tip of his pointer finger-

“Eyes on me.”

The sentence went straight to Hongjoong’s cock, which was already semi-hard from kissing. He felt embarrassed. His face flushed.

“I just felt your cheeks flush, what are you embarrassed about?”

Hongjoong’s mouth was dry- “I-I-I’m already hard.”

Seonghwa laughed, startling Hongjoong and he blushed even _more_.

“Get on my lap.” Seonghwa said, but he was already pulling Hongjoong into his. Hongjoong was now sitting facing Seonghwa, his legs dangling on either side of his muscular thighs that he had so long drooled and ogled at. 

“Good job, baby.” 

Hongjoong could _not_ handle the way Seonghwa’s low voice was murmuring and he didn’t know if he could survive doing anything else. Seonghwa was so dangerous, so thrilling. So beautiful and deadly. It was like playing russian roulette but the gun was loaded the entire time and everyone knew but you.

“Don’t be mean.” Hongjoong teased, still out of breath.

“Would never dream of being mean to you.” Seonghwa replied letting his lips graze his jaw. Seonghwa’s hands then traveled to the bulge in Hongjoong’s pants.

“Is this okay?”

“ _Yes_ , ple-yes,” was all that Hongjoong could manage to muster out. He had never wanted anything so bad and he felt ashamed that he was feeling this way over some boy. Some killer. 

Though, Seonghwa was not just ‘some’ person or boy or anyone, for that matter. He was the ‘some’ boy who had been in the earpiece of Hongjoong’s life for two years now, and he was the man who had shown him how to kill. 

“Relax,” Seonghwa hummed calmingly into the shell of his lobe, “It’s just me, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong stuttered out a laugh as he trailed fingers up the expanse of his stomach and back down to his bulge. Seonghwa dragged the blunt end of his finger nails down, up, and then back down again, repeatedly. 

“That’s the problem. You’re Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa. Someone I’ve had a crush on for two years.”

“Poor thing,” Seonghwa mused, a smile quirked up on his face, “but I know. It was painfully obvious. Like your hard on.”

Hongjoong squirmed.

“Let me take care of you, baby.” Seonghwa squeezed tighter around his throat- Hongjoong felt like coming in his pants. Something hard hit his thigh when he shifted and he winced. Seonghwa noticed and looked down to see his knives still strapped to his thighs, the bone handles prodding at the skin. The sharp points were nowhere near his skin but the fear still made his cock twitch.

“Sorry-”

“Keep them on.” Hongjoong replied. He gulped a fat glob of spit back down his throat and he repeated, “Keep them on, please.”

Seonghwa’s eyes turned darker, “You want me to just take my cock out, baby boy? Do you want to ride me that way? My knives strapped to me, just enough to be an uncomfortable pressure on your ass, baby?”

Hongjoong whimpered, “Yes, but I don’t want it to hurt me too much- I don’t like seeing blood and I don’t want blood.”

“Anything you want.”

All Hongjoong wanted was Seonghwa’s cock up him and just enough pain to make him squirm, maybe bruise. He wanted hand print reminders, he wanted to cry.

Seonghwa’s mouth trailed down to Hongjoong’s neck and Hongjoong soon felt himself become impatient.

“I wanna touch you too.”

Seonghwa smiled into the kiss, “Go ahead, I don’t bite.”

Hongjoong let himself do what he had been dreaming of for so long. He let his hands wander across the slopes and planes of Seonghwa’s shoulders. It should be a crime- he wanted to come all over them. Maybe have Seonghwa fuck the living daylights out of him and then lay underneath Hongjoong. He would look up with his pretty lashes and ask Hongjoong to come on his shoulders.

Hongjoong could feel the iron gaze of Seonghwa and he still continued his journey of exploring the wonders of Park Seonghwa. He bit a tiny mark onto his collarbones and helped him take off his black shirt. Hongjoong was _not_ prepared to see nipple piercings. How had he never fucking noticed?

He swayed in his lap.

“Are you going to pass out?”

“Maybe. I’m so horny I can’t even think. Am I speaking korean still?”

Seonghwa let out that rare laugh that he had only experienced a few times. It made him feel the butterflies in his stomach, it made Hongjoong feel the experience of a crush all over again.

“You’re really perfect, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa only stared in response but he ran his hands up Hongjoong’s slim limbs then back down, where he could pin Hongjoong’s wrist together. 

“Guess I’ll have to keep you forever then,” Seonghwa replied.

Seonghwa then leaned forward and lifted Hongjoong’s hands above his head with his wrists still locked together.

“Keep them there.”

Seonghwa lifted Hongjoong’s shirt above his nipples and let his thumbs wander over the tiny buds of them. Hongjoong wriggled but Seonghwa gave him a warning look. He went back to admiring the stretch of his body and slid his hands down the soft curves of his sides. Seonghwa scooted the chair to the computer desk in the van and had Hongjoong lean back with his elbows on the table, his ass still planted firmly on his thighs. Now, Hongjoong felt exposed but he felt… _untouchable_ underneath the gaze of the assassin. His arms were propped behind him and his whole torso was out as Seonghwa stretched him across the desk.

“Look up,” Seonghwa said.

Hongjoong looked up and almost moaned.

There he was, the mirror reflecting his entire upper body and expanse of nipples and face. Seonghwa’s thighs were splayed out and knives were visible. Hongjoong’s cock twitched and Seonghwa bit his bottom lip when he noticed the movement.

“I want you to watch yourself, get it, baby? I’m gonna take you apart and you’re going to see it all.”

Hongjoong let out a dry sob and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and let his hips jerk over the feeling of Seonghwa’s large hand resting on his cock. 

“Look at you, Hongjoong. You’re so worked up and I haven’t even touched your cock yet. _T_ _skk_ , I almost feel bad.”

Hongjoong leaned forward, ignoring his rule of staying put and he let himself fall into his arms, crashing their lips together.

“M’ sorry Seonghw’a,” he said against Seonghwa’s lips. Seonghwa seemed taken aback but he kissed Hongjoong back and let his hands cup his jaw.

“What are you sorry about?”

“That I had to kiss you.”

Seonghwa gripped the back of Hongjoong’s hair and tilted his head back and kissed Hongjoong deeper than anyone had ever been. He let himself melt into it, all of it so natural and surreal, so instinctual. It was like he was made to be kissing him at all times. 

Seonghwa let his lips drag over his chin and back down to his throat- he couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

“Don’t apologize. You can kiss me whenever, I can be all yours.” Seonghwa said, it was so matter-of-fact and nonchalant. The words hit Hongjoong like a train and he nodded. 

“Now,” Seonghwa roughly pushed Hongjoong back into the stretched position again, “look at yourself.”

Hongjoong watched from above as Seonghwa pulled out his own cock and Hongjoong’s (Hongjoong thought that he was going to drool at the sight. He had never been one for admiring someone’s cock but Seonghwa by far had the prettiest one he had ever seen). Hwa’s cock was thick and a little bit larger than his own. In comparison, they looked the same but Seonghwa had more girth than he was used to. 

Seonghwa spit onto his palm and gathered the precum that was sitting patiently on the head of his cock and he slid it over Hongjoong’s. The tight warm hands of Seonghwa were heaven and he tried to reel himself in from getting too excited. He wanted to come on Seonghwa’s cock, not on his hands. Seonghwa surprised him, though.

Seonghwa looked up through his lashes and Hongjoong looked away from the mirror to meet his eyes in question.

“Can I eat you out?”

Hongjoong choked and spluttered incoherently. “Well- I- yeah?”

“You don’t sound sure.”

“I’ve just…” Hongjoong trailed off, “... never had anyone do it before?”  
Seonghwa hummed and he shimmied Hongjoong’s pants off, helping him lift his ass up. Soon, his underwear came off too and he felt incredibly exposed. The handle of the knives reminded him that he was still real. 

“Do you still want me to rim you?”

Hongjoong blushed, “Yeah, I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t. Safe word?”

“Mirror.”

“Okay. Safety signal?”

Hongjoong tapped three times on Seonghwa’s hand and Seonghwa smiled up at him.

With that, he pushed Hongjoong’s back further up the desk and lifted his legs above him and pressed them together. Then, Seonghwa let his right hand slide up Hongjoong’s stomach from between his thighs and land home on his throat. Hongjoong gulped and Seonghwa squeezed.

“I knew you liked having your life in danger, baby. You like the thrill of killing, you like the thrill of not knowing if you’re going to be okay. My hand around your throat?” Seonghwa made a _tutting_ sound and squeezed even harder, “I could take you out, like this, right now.”

Hongjoong gasped for air as Seonghwa let go and his head spun in dizzying circles trying to gather air.

 _"God_ , Seonghwa, please fuck me- anything. I don’t care, I just want you so bad.” Hongjoong all but sobbed around his hand that had the tight grip around Seonghwa. He was clawing at the wrist and fingers desperately, “more.”

Seonghwa laughed and he squeezed harder this time and Hongjoong let himself bask in the black dots behind his eyes. Seonghwa knew Hongjoong’s limit though, and he let go to let him breathe. Even though Hongjoong thinks he could have gone a couple more seconds.

Seonghwa let his tongue flutter over the hole and he let it enter Hongjoong for the first time. Hongjoong gasped and Seonghwa cut off his air again. He kept his hand ready to tap out just in case, and then he let himself fall into the sensations.

Seonghwa was absolutely ravishing him and the sounds that were coming out of Hongjoong’s mouth and Seonghwa’s tongue were so filthy. Hongjoong desperately clung on to the wrist of Seonghwa’s hand and he now had wet tears running down his face.

Seonghwa pulled back to let himself suck on his own fingers and then he went back to sucking and licking at his hole. Hongjoong was confused at the sucking of fingers but soon understood as one prodded his way into his ass.

Seonghwa let Hongjoong breathe and he smiled up at himself into the mirror. His lips were flushed and red from biting his lips and his cheeks were cherry red from the lack of air and strain. He hoped Seonghwa found him sexy.

“You’re so pretty, baby. Like looking at yourself?”

Hongjoong hummed and squeezed Seonghwa’s hand in endearment and agreement. Hongjoong really liked that the ceiling was low enough to touch and for a moment he wondered that if he touched his reflection above him, if it would feel solid?

“I like lookin’ at you,” he breathed out now sitting up on his elbows to look at Seonghwa. Seonghwa grinned, but it looked a tiny but evil. 

“Ditto.”

He went back to scissoring him open and Hongjoong fell back onto the computer desk and whined pitifully as Seonghwa found his prostate. He didn’t even have to search for it, he just twisted his fingers and hit home. 

_“Oh- fuck,_ Seongh-”

His words were cut off as his mouth hung open in a silent moan as Seonghwa slipped the second finger inside with ease and brought his tongue back down to his rim. 

Was this heaven? Had Hongjoong been killed on a mission?

Seonghwa ate him out and fingered him open like it was his own personal mission and Hongjoong couldn’t even fathom how Seonghwa would fuck him. He didn’t have to wonder long because Seonghwa was now bringing his legs and thighs back down to his own. 

Seonghwa slicked up his cock with spit and precome. He looked up at Hongjoong and Hongjoong let his hands wander over the pierced nipples.

“I didn’t know you had these- I don’t know a lot of things about you, really.”

Seonghwa tilted his head and shrugged, leaning forward to kiss Hongjoong one more time. “You ready?”

“Yes.”

Hongjoong did the honors of lifting himself up by using the desk and Seonghwa’s steady thigh- he sunk down from the tip to base. They both let out groans and Hongjoong realized this was his first time hearing him let out an audible moan. It was so hot.

“Look at me,” Seonghwa breathed out gripping the back of Hongjoong’s hair and tilting his head back down to him from the mirror. 

“Always.”

Seonghwa grinded his hips up in a roll and Hongjoong heard a high pitched moan- it was himself. Seonghwa seemed encouraged about this. He was confident in his fucking like he was his killing and Hongjoong found that hot enough to melt his insides. 

They fell into a steady rhythm that made embarrassingly lewd sounds fill the van around them and he looked up to see the mirror fogged up. 

“Oh fuck-”

Seonghwa looked up and laughed at the sight. He moved Hongjoong’s hands up to the ceiling, leaving handprint smears behind.

Seonghwa fucked up into him without warning and Hongjoong’s hands scrambled helplessly on the ceiling and he felt his hips stutter- this was Seonghwa’s rhythm and he had to catch up. He desperately tried to match but his pace was brutal and it made the insides of his stomach burn with pitiful pleasure. 

Hongjoong was letting out high staccato moans that were pitched high and Seonghwa’s low, steady moans were dancing around his stomach.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot, baby. Look at how good I fuck you, look at how well you take me. You’re made for cock huh? Just nothin’ but cock.”

Seonghwa was sweating and his hair was sticking to his forehead- he looked younger and more kind. Kind of vulnerable. Hongjoong leaned down to kiss him softly in the stark contrast of Seonghwa’s sharp, purposeful thrust. Seonghwa met his pace with his mouth and softly kissed at the corners of his mouth. Hongjoong felt a wave of emotion hit him and he let out a tiny cry into Seonghwa’s mouth.

“Y-y-you treat me so good, Hwa. I love how nice you are with me, I-I-” he sniffled out, but Seonghwa shushed him with his lips and fucked him even _harder_. Hongjoong was going to need to invest in an ass cushion after this.

“It’s okay, Joong. You deserve nothing but kindness, baby. You’re so good for me, so _good_.” 

Seonghwa let his hand wrap around Hongjoong’s bouncing cock and he continued to kiss him softer than ever. Seonghwa hummed with content and kept a rough pace on his ass and a fast stroke over the head. His hand twisted over the top and his thumb rubbed the sensitive underside. He let his hand trail back up to Hongjoong’s neck and he cocked his head to the side.

“Yes,” was all Hongjoong said.

Seonghwa squeezed and Hongjoong saw the blackspots reappear- he let out a breathless groan. Seonghwa moaned loudly as he clenched around him and he tightened his grip at the base of his throat. They both were close.

“You can come baby, go ahead.”

Hongjoong didn’t need to be told a second time and his orgasm hit him so hard that for a moment- he lost himself. He couldn’t feel his fingers, he couldn’t feel the tips of his toes- his mind blanked. 

Seonghwa came immediately after and his hands gripped Hongjoong’s thighs with a vice grip that probably cut his circulation off. They were both gasping coming down from their highs, and Hongjoong was still trying to catch his breath. Surprisingly, it was Seonghwa who spoke first after a few moments.

“Holy fuck.”

“Yeah.” Hongjoong breathed out.

Seonghwa helped Hongjoong sit back up in his lap and he stroked the apple of his cheek- “Are you okay, baby?”

“M’ perfect.” Hongjoong said with a sigh, falling into his arms to kiss him. Seonghwa kissed him back softly, lips moving languid and slowly over each other. It was disturbingly soft and pure compared to the way Seonghwa was fucking him into the ceiling.

Literally.

Hongjoong sighed into his mouth and rested his arms over the tops of his shoulders. Seonghwa brushed back Hongjoong’s hair that was stuck to his forehead and then gently flicked his earrings that decorated his lobes. 

“Beautiful.”

  
  
  
  


Mingi, Wooyoung, Jongho, and Yeosang stared back at him.

Hongjoong was silent, hands folded into his lap like a small child. 

It was silent as he looked around their office in KQ and he wriggled his toes like Mingi was not about to absolutely rip into him.

“Wait, you fucking _killed_ someone? What the _fuck_ Hongjoong. What- what… _how_ , you couldn’t even look at a dead body-” Mingi tugged at his hair, looking up at Jongho. Jongho did nothing but shrug with his eyes widened comically. Yeosang was looking up at the ceiling of their warehouse. 

Jongho tried to speak, then he paused, then started again, “Let me get this straight. You come to me, questioning the morality of killing. You throw up at a dead body. You have Seonghwa teach you how to shoot. He then lets you _kill_ someone, and then you two fucked in the van.”

Hongjoong smiled nervously and Yeosang let out a quiet, _ouch_. Hongjoong just looked around nervously and scratched the back of his head.

“Yeah?”

Mingi threw his hands up in the air and Jongo had his hands stuck out in front of him in a confused manner- panic across his features.

“Who- bro, Hongjoong, are you fucking okay?”

“Yeah?”

Yeosang screeched, “Stop saying _yeah_ like it’s no big deal!”

Hongjoong matched Mingi and threw up his hands in the air too while the rest yelled over each other and at him.

“I don’t know what else you want me to say!” 

Yeosang raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, “I dunno, Hongjoong. How about, _I have daddy issues_ or _I have had a mental break and changed my entire personality_? Anything?”

A voice broke their arguing and scrambling- it was San.

“Don’t think our Hongjoong could be a killer, lads?”

They immediately quieted and San smiled with a shrug. He came into their discussion (yelling) circle and made a _shoo_ motion at Mingi to get out of his chair. San sat down and crossed his ankles over each other.

“Seonghwa filled me in. Good job.”

“-Good job?” Mingi butted in. “San, Boss, do you really think so?”

San narrowed his eyes and spread his hands open like it was no big deal- which it wasn’t, in Hongjoong’s opinion. It wasn’t like he wasn’t entirely capable of killing. He had only struggled with morality, not the action. The throwing up thing? It was his first dead body in real life. He could get used to it.

“Of course. Mingi, you have killed. We have all killed. What makes Hongjoong any different?” San asked, titling his head. The rest were silent and talking to San like they had forgot Hongjoong was sitting there.

“Is it because he is our token baby of the group? Is it because he seemed weak stomached not too long ago? Weren’t we all? Hongjoong is our curveball, our unexpected ace. Seonghwa said he was perfect, he has picked up everything Seonghwa has said. Hongjoong isn’t going to be an assassin, he will still be our hacker.”

Hongjoong had briefly thought about going into assassination- but he quickly tossed it. He did love the thrill of killing, the fucked up part of him loved it so much that it hurt. He was good at it, he was a fast learner. But, he was better behind a computer. He was more comfortable. He know felt like he belonged in the crew, like he wasn’t the outlier. 

Mingi sighed- a bit relieved.

“I suppose I wasn’t mad at him… I just- I just wanted Hongjoong to be my other half still.”

Hongjoong reached forward and gripped Mingi’s hand, “You’re still my favorite person, Mingi.”

San smiled again.

Jongho and Yeosang still looked a little troubled and they both had worry lines between their brows.

It was Jongho who spoke.

“I like killing too. It feels powerful. You liked that, didn’t you?”

Hongjoong nodded hesitantly, “I’ve always wanted to know the feeling. I am not brand new because I all of a sudden have a dead body behind me, and before when I was just behind the screen I thought differently. I thought I would never return to myself, I thought I could never kill someone directly like you all do. I thought it would weigh on my conscience… but don’t I kill someone almost everyday when I help? I tell Seonghwa where to go, I love the thrill of seeing him close in.”

Yeosang laughed now and he looked at ease. Jongho nodded and sighed, but he finally gave Hongjoong a smile. 

“I understand now, Hongjoong. I just- I was just _worried_ that the feeling would overwhelm you. Killing is a powerful thing, it is too easy to lose yourself to the thrill and thrum of it all. But, I guess since you are hired here, we really shouldn’t be surprised.”

It was silent as everyone took in Jongho’s words. He was right. Everyone in the company, everyone, had killed except for Hongjoong. He had always felt a tiny bit outcasted and he would lose sleep over it. He would mull it over and over in his mind. Is it okay to kill? Wasn’t he a killer, technically? 

San eventually nodded.

“Since that is settled, our company dinner is about to start.”

  
  
  
  
  


Hongjoong’s dinosaur shaped macaroni and cheese is burnt.

Mingi and Hongjoong stared at the crispy noodles stuck to the pan and Yunho whistled beside them as he swatted away the streamers that hung down from the ceiling. Their KQ building was covered with black balloons and streamers that said in bright blue font,

_IT”S A BOY!_

(Seonghwa had looked miserable when he came back in with the office decorations. San had made him go out and buy them- “Just get anything party related. I dunno”. Seonghwa had unraveled the gender streamers and all of staff had about shit themselves. 

“They asked who my lucky lady was.” Seonghwa said boredly.

“What did you say?” Wooyoung replied.

“I said it was my boyfriend.”) 

“Holy hell, for two computer geniuses, you can’t even cook box food… that has instructions?”

Hongjoong rocketed the box at Yunho’s head and San smacked it out of the way immediately. “Careful Kim. I will put you on our kill list. Seonghwa too.”

Seonghwa walked in with his dish covered and he snorted, “Good luck with that.”

Yunho shook his fist in his direction dramatically and Seonghwa actually smiled. Yunho blinked and lowered his fist, San only grinned and nudged at Hongjoong’s shoulder, Seonghwa set his dish down at the end of the table.

They all clinked their glasses together in celebration, soju slipping over the sides in a clumsy motion. They drank and discussed the year they had, tallying their total kills. San walked up to the whiteboard and flipped it over to the other side.

A big tally in red was revealed, as well as individual numbers beside each member’s name. Hongjoong felt his stomach flip at the shiny, big crimson _1_ that winked back at him. 

_“I feel so fucked up.”_

_“You should feel powerful.”_

_Hongjoong flinched- Seonghwa was right beside him now, their knees brushing. Hongjoong hadn’t even heard him pull the chair over. Their thighs almost overlapped and Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong’s chair forward. “Think about it, Hongjoong. You just took evil out of the world.”_

Hongjoong raised his glass and took a sip.

  
  
  
  
  


“Show him your dish.”

Hongjoong let out a miserable whine and he covered his face.

Seonghwa smiled, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?”

Wooyoung giggled, “This sounds like me and Mingi’s first meeting.”

Hongjoong bit his bottom lip and he replied, “Let's show them at the same time. Deal?”

“Deal.”

San counted down.

“3….2….1….”

They both flashed their dish--

\--burnt dinosaur shaped macaroni and cheese. 

Several laughs were echoed throughout the building and Yunho laughed so hard he tried to grip onto a streamer for balance but it ripped from the ceiling.

Seonghwa looked betrayed.

“Did you hack into my Amazon?!”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> HI, that was a ride. I've literally had this in my drafts since July. I have been screaming about this to my friend and she, thankfully, helped me edit all 16k of this. Thank you for screaming about dick and dinosaur mac and cheese with me.


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